


Anamnesis

by Xadrea



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Aftermath, Balamb Garden (Final Fantasy VIII), Coming of Age, Guardian Forces | GFs (Final Fantasy VIII), Multi, Post-Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xadrea/pseuds/Xadrea
Summary: It has been over twenty years since Ultimecia’s defeat. The nation of Galbadia has descended into a bloody civil war. Garden as an organization is under serious international scrutiny. Facing new threats from old enemies, Squall and his friends must uncover the truth about the first Sorceress War before history repeats itself.





	1. Astrid

Quistis pushed a stray hair behind her ear. It was a habit of hers that signaled the beginning of an angry lecture. I straightened in my seat and leaned forward, resting my elbows on the edge of a stack of reports I had been ignoring for a week. This’ll be good.

“Did my daughter come in here this morning?”

My daughter. I rolled my eyes. ‘She has a name,’ I thought. That was half the trouble right there. Of all the things in the world that weren’t my business, Quistis’ relationship to her children was definitely on the list.

“Well?”

I nodded and held her gaze. Quistis’ expression, which was already stony when she entered my office without knocking, went flat. Her eyes narrowed and she chewed her lip. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped and sighed.

“I don’t see why you’re advising her against taking the field exam. She’s ready. She’s old enough, and frankly, it’ll be good for her. I don’t need you confusing her!” It had been awhile since Quistis had been angry with me. It had been brewing though. At least since the divorce had been finalized. Her kids were spending a lot of time with my own...and by default also with me. I didn’t mind their presence though. Our younger kids were the same age and played well together, so it made entertaining my boys easy.

The field exam season was upon Garden and Quistis had been dealing with forming squadrons, paperwork, and of course daily teaching. Honestly, I’d expected to see Astrid in my office months ago.

“Her abilities are excellent, yes,” I began. ”But ultimately the decision to participate is Astrid’s. I certainly wouldn’t encourage or dissuade any student from the field exam. She wanted to discuss other opportunities she could pursue once she’s finished at Garden.”

“She’s fifteen, she’s a kid!! And you’re putting ideas in her head!” Quistis’ voice was low pitched and hoarse. Like she’d been yelling before she came up here.

I didn’t reply. Not because I didn’t want to, but it was a tactic I used over the years to disarm her. It didn’t work every time.

“Let me guess, her father talked to you? Just what I need, someone ELSE criticizing the way I raise my kids.”

“No, I haven’t spoken to Seifer since his last report. I’m not interested in your problems with him, Quistis.”

Quistis’ face paled. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone there, I thought. She blinked and kept her eyes closed a moment too long. When she opened them she flashed her gaze toward the ceiling then back at me.

I’d never seen Quistis shed a tear in all the time I’d known her. Not when she had FIRST lost her role as instructor 20 years prior. Not when her relationship with Seifer fell apart. And not now, but she was close. I felt a pang of guilt. Quit being a dick.

“...I’m sorry. Look, you need to take some time off.” God knows I could use some.

“When?! How, Squall?! The exam is in a month, I have end of semester grading, and are you forgetting that we are in serious negations with Galbadia? I have a meeting with the foreign secretary in a week!”

Shit. I had forgotten about that meeting. I would need to be present too. It had been delayed by almost a year because of the fractured Galbadian government. Two thirds of the ruling party refused to enter peace talks and retaliated by occupying Winhill then, as a display of power, established a “new capital” in the Dingo Desert. The borders closed and by consequence every SeeD away team in Galbadia was trapped.

Some twelve were stationed there. Four managed to escape months into the blackout, four more were discovered and imprisoned in the D-District prison. Two teams lost their lives trying to escape. One team retreated to Deling and was still there as volunteer informants.

The final team, Seifer’s, managed to cross over the northern border to Dollet when the military rule began. Out of necessity I put him in charge of the Deling team and assisting in liberating political prisoners in the surrounding government outposts in the Obel Lake area. He was also a direct connection to the Deling team who managed to arrange the meeting. Getting everyone home safely hinged on the outcome of this meeting. God, how could I have forgotten?!

Deafening silence settled over both of us. A phone rang a few times down the hall and footsteps approached, then three soft knocks. The door opened and Klaus, my assistant entered.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Commander Leonhart,” he began, “Instructor Trepe is needed in Classroom number two,” he turned and nodded at Quistis.

“What is the issue,” Quistis snapped. “Surely my TA can handle it.” Klaus was unfazed. I was rude to him daily for years. Including that morning when I realized I’d locked myself out of my own office for the third time in a month.

“You’re twenty minutes late to proctor an exam, Instructor. I believe your TA does not permission to proctor the cumulative written portion of the SeeD exam.”

Quistis growled, snatched off her ID badge then thrust it into Klaus’ hand. “You have the credentials. Unlock my computer and you proctor it. I’m in a meeting.” Klaus blinked and looked in my direction.

I shrugged. “Well? You heard her, go.” I sincerely hope he was being paid well for this abuse. Klaus nodded diplomatically and left, softly closing the door behind him.


	2. Rinoa

“Just...take the rest of the day off, Quistis. You’re no good to anyone like this right now. You can do that. I’m giving you an order.” Hopefully the word ‘order’ would get her out of my office.

Quistis’ eyes were fixed off into the middle distance but she nodded. Worry creased her forehead. “I’m just scared, I’m so afraid.” Her voice was just a breathy whisper. “Astrid told me last night that she wanted to go to Dollet, she wants to be a field reporter.”

I nodded. She’d also revealed that to me the previous day. Quistis’ body softened, like she’d been braced for the worst the entire time. “She didn’t mention anything else?”

I shook my head. Like what, I thought. Thanks to faculty shortages I’d had students filtering through my office for counseling, disciplinary meetings, commendations, and mission briefings for weeks. Astrid’s idea didn’t sound like a bad one to me. She was passionate and intelligent like her mother. She was clearly talking about the future. Wasn’t she? I had known Astrid since she was born, but the formality of my position at the school prevented me from asking her how she was really doing, what she was really thinking. No “Uncle Squall” here. Thanks, Quistis. Now I’m curious too.

Quistis cleared her throat and smoothed an invisible wrinkle from her uniform jacket. “I’m fine. Really I am. I need to get downstairs, and you need Klaus on those phones.” She pulled herself to her full height relaxing into her normal posture. Quistis always carried herself with an authoritative air and used it as a means to intimidate difficult students. Poised yet unapproachable.

“Suit yourself,” I said rising from my chair, “the offer stands, though.”

Quistis waved her hand. “Noted, but unnecessary. Thank you.” The mask was back on. She turned and walked out of my office, leaving the door open as she clicked toward the elevator.

The light rain that was gently grazing the windows behind me transformed to a drenching downpour, violently slapping the glass. I stretched and my right shoulder ached. In nearly three decades of gunblade use I never once injured myself because of poor form. Yet somehow I tore a tendon in my shoulder two months ago demonstrating how to use the damned thing. Dr. Kadowaki cracked some joke about getting older as I sat in her office waiting for x-rays. I didn’t find it funny.

I glanced at my watch. Half past eleven, about an hour and a half til training with Zell. He took it upon himself to provide my physical therapy following the injury. I only agreed because I wouldn’t hear the end of it otherwise.

I kneaded my sore shoulder and stared at the mountain growing on my desk. All of this would have to wait. The meeting in Galbadia took precedence. I glanced around, trying to collect my thoughts. What did Quistis mean about ‘something else?’ I shook my head. I don’t have the time to think about this, I thought.

I turned my attention back to my desk. Klaus could review some of these reports, and file them...but then I would also need someone with more seniority in here in my absence. Quistis was going on the trip, as was Zell, Irvine, Xu, and Nida. Selphie was still on maternity leave, and with this being her and Irvine’s fifth I really wasn’t expecting her to return to Garden this time around.

Rinoa was good at this, I thought. Arranging things. Making sure everything at Garden was handled and organized. A photo of her was nestled slightly behind one of the stacks on the desk. I moved the pile aside and picked it up. It was taken during a trip to Trabia Garden. Our son Stormy, who was six at the time, was in her arms propped up on her hip. Rinoa was laughing and pointing at something behind the person taking the picture. She wore a wide brimmed hat and her glossy black hair was pulled back into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder. Her cheeks were flushed and pink from the sunshine. She was wearing a light blue sundress that fell to her feet. Stormy was dressed in dark overalls, and his tiny feet were bare. His black hair hung in his eyes, covering half his face so only his plump cheeks and wide smile were visible.

I wasn’t there with them. I had been in Galbadia helping with efforts to officially liberate Timber. Neither of us were aware at that she was pregnant again when the photo was taken. We had initially planned to have children early on, but the war with Galbadia, attacks on Trabia and Galbadia Gardens, and funding problems interrupted that. Neither of us wanted to bring a child into a dangerous life. We were married nearly ten years before Stormy arrived. I smiled. Stormy was a tiny baby, an usually small child, and now nearly adolescent he was hardly half my height. Anyone looking at the photo would’ve assumed Rinoa was holding a toddler, not a first grader. The trip was to visit Trabia’s new facility. Selphie headed the new leadership board there at the time and invited everyone to the unveiling. Only Rinoa had the time to attend and took Stormy along.

The birthdate of my son Squall was the anniversary of his mother’s death. I sighed. I didn’t fight it much anymore. When she died I arrogantly assumed that time would make the pain more tolerable. Six years wasn’t enough. Six thousand wouldn’t be enough.

The phone on my desk began to ring, dragging me back to reality. The phone down the hall at Klaus’ desk must have relayed the call to mine after ringing multiple times. Klaus intercepted every call to the headmaster’s office, so I almost never had to answer my own phone. I set down the photograph and snatched the phone from the receiver.

“...hel-, uh, how ca-, this is Commander Leonhart.” Goddamnit I forgot the stupid salutation.

“Yo Squall, what’s goin’ on up there? I was gonna tell Klaus to send you to the gym cuz the pager system aint’ workin’ right. Well not in the training center that is. We gotta get some work done around this joint. Especially in the training center. Anyw-“

“What do you want, Zell?”

“Geeze, what’s up your butt today? Like I said, you can come down to the gym right now if ya got the time. All my usual trainees are in exams so I’m free early. Hey! We could do lunch after if you want. I already put in an order for hotdogs!”

I groaned. “Yeah, alright.” Maybe I could get him to stick around my office next week. Zell’s enthusiasm for life in general was nauseating but could prove to be useful when it came to needing favors.

“Sweet! See ya in a few!” The line clicked. I hung up the phone and headed to the elevator.


	3. Stormy

The training center at Balamb Garden was originally an undeveloped space that had been converted into a sort of monster nest. Grats, T-Rexars, and Bite Bugs roamed in a confined area within the place. Groundskeepers were meant to cull the excess monsters occasionally, but once the building was discovered to be mobile and unmoored itself from Balamb, multiple department’s internal systems fell to the wayside.

I was unofficially given the title of Commander at 17 after an odd turn of events at Balamb Garden. I had no choice but to accept the new leadership role as no one else would take the reigns. Once things settled after the ordeal with Edea and Ultimecia I expected to return to being a regular senior student. With Headmaster Cid’s mishandling of Garden’s funding, among other things, was revealed he offered to transition leadership of Balamb Garden to me. I reluctantly accepted. Cid officially stepped down as Garden Headmaster five years later. I decided to keep my initial title of Commander as ‘Headmaster’ sounded, and still did, too paternal to me.

In the first year of heading Balamb Garden I put together several facility projects to repair damage from the battle with Galbadia Garden, crashing into Fisherman’s Horizon, and regular wear and tear. The training center and the quad were the first to be remodeled. A gymnasium was added to the training center and faculty, rather than staff, were appointed to monitor the monster area. Naturally, Zell gunned for the position of Athletics Director and ended up not only running the training center but also overseeing the weapons locker and the competitive sports teams.

The gym was a huge open space, equipment hugged the perimeter. A free standing wall stood in the center of the room to divide the area. Free weights and benches were set up in front on one side. Mirrors were on the other. Garden’s emblem was emblazoned on the floor and a blue banner that read “Go Fastitocalons!” hung on the back wall. The Fastitocalons were Balamb Garden’s cross country team.

I spotted Zell inspecting a treadmill at the back of the room. He scribbled something on a clipboard and unplugged it. When he walked back around the machine he spotted me and jogged over.

“You’re not wearing your jersey,” he said eyeing me disapprovingly.

I changed out of my uniform into a T-shirt and basketball shorts on my way down. I’m here to torture myself for an hour, not model your stupid shirt, I thought. Zell had designed and ordered faculty sports jerseys for each of us after the Fastitocalons beat Galbadia Garden earlier that spring. Zell was wearing his of course. Red and gold stripes streaked across the front ornately crossing over the center and wrapped around to the back. ‘Coach Dincht’ was embroidered in white across the shoulders. I rolled my eyes.

Zell shook his head and laughed. “Don’t give me that look, I was only kidding! So, let’s see here...” he trailed off and flipped a few sheets on his clipboard back. “Last time we worked on range of motion. You been doin’ those stretches I showed you?”

“Yes.”

He scribbled something on the pad and flipped the page. “Alright. And on a scale of one to ten what’s your pain level been today?”

“Can we just get started, Zell?”

Zell raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Pain level?”

Good lord. “Two, I guess.”

“Good, that’s an improvement from last week. Ok then!” He snapped the papers down on the clipboard. “I think you’re probably good, I mean unless you want a training sesh.” First good news of the day.

“No, I think I can manage. I...do need to talk to you, though.”

Zell flashed a toothy smile. The tattoo on the side of his face contracted. “You wanna talk to ME? What’d I do to get that blessed, huh?”

“I know you were slated to be part of the talks in Galbadia next week, but I need someone to run my office.”

Zell squinted his eyes, nodded and scratched the stubble on his chin. “Hey, whatever you need Squall, you know I’m game for anything, man. To be honest I thought Quistis was gonna stick around here, cuz...well you know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“There you are!”

I turned around and saw Stormy in the doorway. His uniform jacket was tied around his waist and he had a book tucked under one arm. He confidently strolled across the gym floor and stopped between Zell and I.

He must have seen that I was about to unleash unholy hell on him for cutting his classes, again, because he held the book over his head like a shield.

“Look Dad, I was at the library. For CLASS.” He waved the book at me and grinned. “I called your office cuz I needed your permission to borrow it from the library.”

“What. Why would you need my permission for that??”

“It’s a guardian force manu-“ I snatched the book out of his hand before he could finish.

“Hey! I wasn’t gonna summon a GF! I don’t even have one. I’m doing a research project for school, Dad!” A clump of hair flopped over his grey eyes when he crossed his arms. He’d been refusing to get it cut and the front was starting to get out of control.

“What project and for who?”

Stormy groaned. “It’s for natural history with Instructor Nguyen. He said we could do it on whatever subject we wanted. Ask him, I’m not lying.”

‘I’m not lying,’ was Stormy’s new phrase.’ He’d gone through a period of less than stellar behavior at school that year that I attributed to growing pains and hormones.

I stared him down and handed the book back. He grinned mischievously. His cheeks and nose were already a little burned from the sun and he had a bandage on his chin that I hadn’t noticed that morning. Like Rinoa Stormy was incredibly fair complexioned, but unlike his mother he didn’t have the sense to put on sunblock. He was a head shorter than most students in his cohort, but most of them had learned to stop teasing him about it after a few violent incidents.

“Oh, and Dad can I-“

“I don’t care what it is the answer is no.”

“But you don’t even know what I was gonna ask!” Stormy whined.

“If you needed permission to check the book out and didn’t get it I’m assuming you just took it off the shelf. Yes?”

Stormy pursed his lips and looked down at his feet. “Well, you didn’t answer the phone! What was I supposed to do?” I glared at him incredulously.

“And waiting wasn’t an option because?” I moved in closer to Stormy and Zell pretended to be interested in the ceiling tiles. He’d witnessed me whack Stormy more than a handful of times over the years but the secondhand embarrassment of seeing a child get punished was always awkward.

Stormy inched back a bit. “Well, um...the project is due tomorrow.”

“In that case the answer is definitely no! I’m done, you’re on lockdown.”

Stormy’s shoulders slumped. “Dad! Come o-“ I gave him the look and he clamped his mouth shut.

I bent over so that my nose was almost touching his. “I’ll pick you up after school and you’re to finish this project in my office, in my presence TONIGHT or so help me I will make every second of your existence this summer a living hell. Is that clear,” I growled through gritted teeth.

“Yes sir,” Stormy whispered.

“Go back to class and stay there. Goodbye.”

Stormy rolled his eyes and turned toward the door. “You never let me do anything,” he mumbled.

I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face me. “I’m a lot of things but deaf isn’t one of them.” He nodded so hard his hair flopped into his eyes again. I released my grip and he ran out of the room and down the hall. I sighed and ran a hand over my face.

“No manual for this, am I right?” Zell said clapping me on the back. I almost forgot he was still there and flinched. I rubbed my temples to hold back a headache.

“What were you saying before?”

Zell’s eyes darted down to the floor. “Uh, y’know it’s not really all that important. It’s alright. So, your office right? You just need somebody to sign off on missions and stuff, right?”

“That’s the majority of it. We should be back before you need to do anything else. With the semester winding down it’s all just loose ends.”

“Cool!”

“I’m not putting too much on your plate?”

Zell waved his hand as though swatting at a fly. “Nah, it’s a ghost town down here. I’m just doing maintenance work today and a couple PT sessions. My staff can handle that for a couple days.”

I nodded. Well, that’s one fire put out, I thought.

“ I gotta hand it you man, you don’t pay a damn lick of attention to anything outside of work. You look like a corpse.” Zell ran a hand through his hair and chuckled. “C’mon, have lunch with me. You gotta take a load off for a minute.”

A corpse. That’s a new one, usually people were asking if I was mad all the time. “...I have a few minutes.”

“Alright!”


	4. Xu

One of the first things that was agreed upon when Rinoa and I started living together was the color of the rug under the desk in my dorm. Garden had a limited number of guest suites adjacent to the shared student dorms, and Rinoa, who had lived at Garden for over a year at that point, had grown tired of sharing space with the younger students.

At first I didn’t really like the idea of both of us crammed into the small room. The dorms had been designed for efficiency rather than comfort. I only visited my room for naps, showers, and changing uniforms so I hadn’t spent any time furnishing the place meaningfully. Everything I owned had a specific use and purpose and it all could fit into a suitcase.

The rug was the first thing she spotted when she stepped into the room. She dropped her bag in the threshold and pointed at the floor. “We’ve gotta replace that ratty old thing,” she exclaimed dramatically. “It looks like someone rubbed dirty boots on it!”

“I put my boots there.”

Rinoa shook her head. “No, no. We’re getting a new rug today!”

Balamb Garden was briefly docked outside of Dollet at the time as per the request of the Dukedom. There were tensions at the Galbadian border and Garden was the neutral party, if not an ace in the hole for Dollet. The entire situation fizzled in a week’s time, but I took note of Cid’s willingness to assist anyone who asked regardless of the cost to Garden’s resources.

There wasn’t anything to do while Garden sat there so most of the SeeDs spent their idle time in Dollet. Following their lead, Rinoa convinced me to go into the city with her to find a replacement rug. I loathed shopping. Even having to purchase food while on missions was agony. The cheerfulness of shopkeepers coupled with the rudeness of shoppers was intolerable.

The excursion took the entire day, mainly because people wouldn’t quit trying to talk to and pet Rinoa’s dog Angelo. I was beyond irritable when we finally found “the” rug. It was small and circular with grey and black rings. Rinoa unrolled and sat on it in right the middle of the shop. “Can you envision this in our room?”

“Let’s just buy it and go back to Garden.”

Rinoa shook her head. “This is important, Squall. It’s the first thing we’re buying for our home and it needs to be special. It’ll be something we can keep forever!”

“And what if it gets dirty like the other one?”

“It won’t because you’re not allowed to wear your boots in the room anymore!”

She was right about keeping it forever. The rug had a home in every place we lived. My cramped dorm was home until we got married. It had technically been a violation of dorm rules for Rinoa live there at all, but the understanding was that since I was no longer a student by then the situation arose out of necessity. The rug moved with us to a small house that sat just outside of the bay in Balamb.

The transition from Garden to Balamb was actually nice at first but as my work became more and more involved when Cid resigned I reasoned that if Rinoa wanted me home every night we would have to move back to Garden. I added more practical living quarters to the list of Garden’s extensive construction projects. The quad renovation took longer than expected so the permanent housing wing took three years to complete.

The new wing was built in the mezzanine level of Garden and only accessible to faculty and their families. Twenty apartment style units occupied the entire floor. Rinoa and I initially moved into a larger unit to temporarily store furniture and the extra space proved to be useful when she discovered she was pregnant with Stormy, and later with Squall.

The boys and I still lived in the same unit. And the rug that Rinoa had so carefully chosen now sat under the coffee table in the front room. Today the room was messy. A few of Squall’s toys were strewn across the floor. A solitary sock hung limply over the arm of a chair, and there were crumbs on the coffee table.

Stormy kicked his shoes off behind me and dropped his book bag on the ground. He was still sulking from earlier. “You need to clean up in here.”

He groaned but complied bending over to scoop up the toy cars. Fast footsteps pounded down the hall and Squall bolted through the kitchen door. He threw his arms in the air and bounced up and down. “Yay! Hi Daddy, hi Stormy!” He ran around the sofa and launched himself through the air landing in my arms. He was five and energetic as a pack of Chocobos.

“Hey buddy.” I squeezed him and lightly tweaked his nose. Something pink and sticky was smeared across his chin and on the neckline his T-shirt. Thankfully he wasn’t wearing his uniform. The children’s version were a nightmare to get anything but dirt out of. “What’s all this,” I asked tickling his plump belly and poking his chin.

Squall giggled and writhed in my arms scratching at my neck and chest trying to return the tickles. “Irvy gave me ice cream!”

Unlike his brother Squall was tall for his age. Most assumed he was seven or eight, not five. He was sturdy with Rinoa’s brown eyes and his hair was a deep chestnut brown. Squall had also refused to get his hair cut that winter and it was almost shoulder length. Stormy was pale year round, burning bright red on Balamb’s beaches, but Squall tanned rosy peach. The tie that had held his hair back during the day had snapped and it hung wild around his face.

“Can we have hotdogs for dinner, Daddy?” Squall grabbed Greiver and danced him jingling the chain around my neck.

“We’ll see. This place is a mess so you need to help your brother clean up. Then maybe we’ll go outside for awhile.”

Squall scrambled out of my arms and ran to the chair to get the exiled sock. ‘Outside’ was a trigger phrase that could inspire him to do just about anything. It no longer worked on Stormy, but I was grateful that the simple bribe was effective for one of them still.

Irvine emerged from the kitchen and pointed finger guns at Stormy who shot him a nasty look. He dramatically stumbled back and pressed both hands to his chest.

“I’ve been hit!”

Squall ran over to him and waved his arms in the air. “Cure! All better now!”

“Much appreciated, little man.” Irvine tossled his hair and the boy ran off to finish tidying.

“Ice cream?”

“ I couldn’t treat my kids and leave Squall hanging.” Irvine tipped his hat and smiled. “There’s a scoop for Stormy in the freezer too.” He winked at him and Stormy scowled again.

“I was on the phone with Seifer this afternoon, everything’s still a go. He said an escort would meet us at the train station Monday morning.” Hm, an ‘escort.’ I didn’t like the sound of that.

“I hear you, I don’t like the way that sounds either,” Irvine said burying his hands in his pockets. “Seems fishy to me, but it’s better than showing up at the border demanding access to the ministry.”

I nodded. Once we were in the country there would be no way to contact Garden in case anything went wrong. Seifer’s team of three would be the only back up, and they were deep underground. If we accidentally blew their cover the consequences would be dire.

“Did Klaus send you an email about the meeting tomorrow?”

“Yeah. You know I’ll be there.”

“Good. I’m going to go over the game plan and we need to run a few more risk simulations. I’m expecting a call from Seifer tomorrow night to confirm the meeting place.”

“You talk to Quistis today?” Irvine took off his hat and held it.

“Yes, briefly but not about next week.” Well, it hadn’t started that way. I was still furious at myself for forgetting about the mission at all. I had limited my GF use greatly after the use of them had clearly affected my long term memory. But a few recent studies out of Esthar seemed to imply that heavy GF usage even for short periods of time could affect short term memory as well. It could be that. Yet, being that I was now in my forties, it wasn’t unusual for me to walk into a room and forget what I went in there for either.

“Oh I know. She’s pretty embarrassed about going to you but I guess Astrid’s giving her a hard time.”

I glanced over at Stormy who was wiping the the crumbs off the table with the speed of a blobra. Join the party, Quistis.

“Well that and Xu and Seifer are kind of a thing now too so that can’t be making stuff any easier.”

“I’m sorry what!?”

“Ah, fuck.”

So that’s what Zell didn’t say, I thought. Stormy and Squall giggled and I pointed to the door. “Go clean your rooms.” Stormy looked like he wanted to protest but stomped off down the hall anyway. Squall followed, bouncing the whole way.

Irvine scratched his head nervously. “I thought you knew already. Guess not. Well, I mean, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Except it is.”

Irvine rolled his eyes. “Since when did you even care about this kinda stuff. Yeah, it kinda looks bad but Quistis has to move on you know? And we need them both, yes?”

I glared at Irvine. “I can’t have Xu or Quistis on the away team because it’s a violation of protocol and I can’t trust them now! Otherwise I wouldn’t care.”

Once we all started coupling new rules were put in place to avoid errors in judgement during missions. No couples, married or otherwise, were permitted to attend the same mission either as a team or assist. That rule stood for teaching and the internal runnings of Garden as well. With the exception of Rinoa helping in my office occasionally the rule was never broken. I knew having Quistis on the mission was toeing the edge since she and Seifer HAD been married but I was sure she would be objective about it. Now I would be down two people.

“It’s not too late to reconsider what we’re doing, you know.” Irvine set his hat back on his head.

“No, it’s not.”


	5. Eden

Nida tapped the computer screen with the tip of his pen. “Is this map current?”

No, it’s ten years old, I thought. God. “It’s the most recent version of the drawn borders of the Galbadian region that we have. There is some possibility that some of them have expanded or shrunk but we do know for a fact that Dollet’s border has held.”

Nida nodded and paused to write something on the meeting itinerary Klaus had supplied everyone that morning. He took off his glasses and pressed them into his graying hair. “Best case scenario we’re able to negotiate a deal to have each imprisoned team released. What is this proposed deal?”

I looked around the table. Zell, Irvine, and Quistis sat on one side. Xu and Nida on the other. “We’ll be offering them Galbadia Garden.” The group murmured discontent.

“Say what?” Zell knocked his knuckles against the table. “I can give you a hundred reasons why that’s not a good idea.”

I held up a hand to silence them. “The facility is derelict and non mobile. We haven’t any use for it.”

“And it’s a decoy,” Xu interjected. “They’ll think we’ve surrendered that campus to them. It’s all about power. Well, the appearance of it anyway.”

Galbadia Garden’s original facility had ceased normal operations over twenty years ago when it had been forcibly seized by the Galbadian Army. Seifer had briefly sided with Galbadia and lead the assault. Lucky for Seifer, Cid was incredibly forgiving of his treasonous acts later and he was permitted to return to Garden for a probationary period.

As a student I strongly disliked Seifer and his cocky attitude. After being thoroughly humiliated and nearly losing his life in a failed crusade for greatness with as a sorceress’ knight his ego was checked. The defeat made him a more tolerable human being but I didn’t officially grant Seifer the title of SeeD until after Cid’s retirement. I wanted to be absolutely sure he wouldn’t turn again. He worked hard to earn my trust, volunteering for every mission dealing with Galbadia and eventually earning commendations for leadership.

When the borders were shut down a year ago Seifer and his team were on their way back from inspecting Galbadia Garden. It had been flown back to its original home in the Lollapalooza Canyon a decade or so before and stood empty. Seifer had wanted to take inventory of the machinery in the engineering level of the building. Although none of it worked because the unknown power source had been depleted, they could be repurposed and used in Balamb Garden. When it became clear a salvage of the building’s materials wouldn’t be possible I got in contact with Fisherman’s Horizon. Their machinists were able to make enough repairs to our existing machines to last another decade.

“We all need to give up the hope that that facility will ever be used again. That ship has sailed.” Xu moved her arm in a slicing motion for emphasis. “It’s a good hook, but what’s the alternative if they don’t take the bait?”

“We’ve literally got nothing,” Irvine answered. “Outside of wanting SeeDs in their army we don’t have anything they’ll want enough to exchange people for.”

“No. We do.” Quistis had been uncharacteristically quiet, listening with her hands folded under her chin. “They want Eden.”

Everyone exchanged glances once more but no one spoke. One of the fractured sects of the Galbadian military had acquired Bahamut from one of the SeeDs killed in the reoccupation of Timber. There had been reports of a dragon burning villages before the army arrived to finish the capture.

“That’s why we need to be prepared to get everyone out by force if necessary.” I stood and walked over to the screen. “There’s absolutely no way to be sure that anything will happen in our favor once we’re there. We could step off the platform in Timber and be killed immediately.” I paused, waiting to be sure each person was listening. “Let me be entirely clear: our top priority is to defend Garden. And while this is definitely a rescue mission every single person there knows that if Garden is threatened in any way they are no longer the mission objective.”

“That’s bullshit.” Zell folded his arms across his chest tightly.

“It’s Garden policy whether you agree with it or not,” Xu said sharply. “Our personal feelings cannot be involved.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you,” Zell muttered under his breath.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Xu leaned forward in her chair and glared at him murderously.

“Alright, I’ll say it. If it was up to me, you, and you wouldn’t be anywhere near this mission.” He jabbed a finger at both Quistis and Xu. “Personal feelings my ass.”

“Let’s all be grateful that it isn’t up to you then, shall we?” Xu’s voice was testy.

“Feel free to jump in anytime, Ace,” said Zell sarcastically.

Irvine and Nida shifted uncomfortably in their chairs and Quistis dropped her hands in her lap. Silence blanketed the room. It was not yet ten in the morning and I was exhausted. I dragged a hand over my face and breathed deeply for a moment. There would be no point in engaging in either side of this argument.

“...I’ve made my decision. Zell, Irvine, Quistis, and Nida: you will go with me to Galbadia. Xu, I need you here at Garden. Seifer will take Xu’s place if necessary. There will be no more discussion about the party order, is that clear? Zell?”

Zell rolled his eyes. “Affirmative.”

I moved back toward the computer’s map feeling lightheaded. “We’ll depart the Balamb station at 8:30am Monday morning arriving in Timber at approximately 10:45. It’ll be the only train running to Timber so there shouldn’t be any delays. From there we’ll meet the escort and go directly to the Timber Hotel to meet the Prime Minister at noon. If all goes as planned and the offer is accepted we’ll go to Deling to pick up the released teams then meet Seifer and his group back in Timber on Thursday. We should all be back in Balamb by Friday at the latest. I’ll have no way of contacting Garden on our movements except through Seifer if he’s able to relay any messages.”

“What’s the plan if they want Eden,” Irvine asked, removing his hat.

“We rescind the original offer and head back to the train station. The escort will be there to see the train off but we’ll need to disable it and any soldiers onboard before it reaches the tunnel back to Balamb. From there we’ll hopefully meet Seifer in Dollet and split up. One party will head to the desert, the other to Deling. Do not, and I repeat, do NOT wait to rejoin with the opposite party once you’ve picked up the captive teams. I expect each of you to use your best judgement and obey protocol. Once the objective is complete, make your way to the Continental Bridge and onward to Fisherman’s Horizon to make contact with Garden.”

“That’s...an ambitious back up plan,” Nida said pulling his glasses back onto his face.

“There are no other alternatives.”

“Well,” said Zell scratching his chin, “outside of starting all out war, it’ll have to do.”

“I don’t see the ministry just rolling over and accepting Galbadia Garden.” Quistis took a sip of coffee from the mug at her elbow and continued. “Or just letting us walk out of Timber. There is some very extreme risk involved here. One, a few, or all of us may not return.”

“Yeah, but how is that different than any other day,” Irvine asked, leaning back in his chair. “Think about it. We’ve all put our lives on the line more times than we can count. So yeah, the stakes are high...but we’ve got a job to do.”

She was right, but so was Irvine. We were mercenaries. Death was always at our door no matter what the mission objective was.

“There has not been a rescue mission of this magnitude in Garden’s history,” I said turning to face the group. “I have no reassuring precedent to present to you all. I’m fully expecting conflict at some point even if we are met with success. All I’m asking for is teamwork.”

When I looked around the table again everyone was staring at me, open mouthed, bug eyed. Quistis stood so quickly her chair flipped back and clattered to the floor. “Squall,” she said calmly, “you need to take a few steps back from the table.”

Zell stood too. “You alright, man?”

Before I could answer the room faded to black.


	6. Memory

Rinoa loved the outdoors, especially Balamb’s beaches. Whenever she couldn’t sleep she would go there to “talk to the moon.” When I asked her what she meant she said, “sometimes you need to talk to someone who’s seen it all.” I didn’t pry any further than that because I thought it would turn into yet another argument about my perceived lack of listening skills. She smiled wistfully and squeezed my arm. “Just think about all the secrets people have told her. She knows it all.”

I didn’t really take notice of how much insomnia Rinoa experienced until after she died. Sometimes I would hear her slide out of bed in the early hours of the morning. I was usually too drunk with exhaustion to ask her what she was doing and too busy to discuss it during the day. Rinoa was always up before me no matter what time my alarm went off. I had assumed it was because she was a morning person, when in reality she hadn’t been able to coax herself back to sleep.

I don’t think she was actively trying to keep her condition a secret from me. She really didn’t like talking about any physical issue pertaining to herself but was hyper vigilant about my and Stormy’s health. She would see me eating a hotdog at my desk and say, “that’s your last one this week, ok? There’s way too much salt in those.” On the rare occasion I was sick she would force me to spend the day on the couch. “You have to rest at some point,” she’d say wagging her finger in my face. “This is your body forcing you to slow down. You need to listen to me.” Then she’d throw a blanket over my legs and disappear into the kitchen to make tea. At first it annoyed me, but I learned to let her be. I wasn’t good at looking out for myself before I met her and when she passed I wasn’t inspired to start.

I woke up in the infirmary with a burning headache and an IV in my arm. The lights were dimmed and a few bars of sunlight pierced through the blinds above the cot I was laying on. I moved to sit up and my head started swimming again. I lay flat and rubbed my eyes. I must’ve passed out, I thought.

The door slid open and Dr Kadowaki breezed in. She was in her seventies now, but still ran the infirmary with little help. Age had shrunken her a bit, back rounded, her posture slightly bent forward. Her white hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her lab coat was buttoned halfway, revealing a floral patterned skirt underneath. She turned the lights up and moved to my side.

“My my, we’ve been seeing a lot of each other lately haven’t we?”

Other than my shoulder injury I had also been burnt by Gayla acid that winter in Trabia. The burn itself hadn’t been that bad, but it got infected before I could return to Garden for regular dressing changes.

“...what, what happened?” The headache was intense. Did I hit my head too?

“Well, when your office called me they said that you had collapsed. You hit your head on a table on the way down and probably on the floor too. I felt two eggs when I examined you.”

I groaned and felt my head with my free hand. A tender lump on the back and a massive ball on my temple. Fantastic.

“You lost consciousness because you’re very, very, very dehydrated. And I’m guessing you couldn’t tell me when you ate your last meal either?”

“I had lunch yesterday.” I’d had a few sips coffee that morning, but didn’t finish the cup.

“And before that?”

“I’m not sure, something the day before that probably. Some coffee, I guess.”

The doctor shook her head and smiled. She touched my arm gently.

“You’ve got two boys who need you, you’ve got to look after yourself too, dear.” She tapped the bag draining into my body. “This should help get you hydrated. I can mix a potion for your head to bring that swelling down if you’d prefer that to an ice pack.”

“Please.”

“Alrighty then. I’m also prescribing eight glasses of water and THREE square meals each day. I know it sounds like a lot but it’s not as hard to stay adequately hydrated when you’re eating regularly. Easier said than done in this line of work, I know.”

“...can I go back to work?”

“Oh, definitely not today. I’d like to keep an eye on you for now since you’ve hit your head twice.”

“What ab-“

She touched my shoulder. “As long as you take it easy the rest of the week I’ll have no trouble clearing you to leave on Monday, Squall. Let’s worry about the here and now, shall we?”

I relaxed back onto the pillow and sighed. “I need to call upstairs.”

The doctor reached over to the wall, pulled a phone from its base and handed it to me. “I’ll go mix up this potion for you,” she said patting my leg.

I punched in the number to Klaus’ desk and waited for him to pick up. “Good morning, you’ve reached the Headmaster’s Office, how may I direct your call?”

“Klaus, it’s me.”

“Oh, hello sir! How are you feeling?”

Like I’ve been attacked by a pack wendigos. “Just dehydrated, I’ll be fine. Listen, I’ll be out the rest of the day. I need you to cancel all my afternoon appointments and pick the boys up after sixth period.”

“Noted sir, however, Instructor Trepe has already offered to get them this afternoon. She said that she was going to speak with you as soon as the doctor cleared you for visitors.”

Whatever. They’d probably end up at her place that night anyway. Zell’s three sons were rough and destructive, Irvine had a mountain of kids at his place and probably wouldn’t welcome any more. Xu babysat Stormy once when he was a toddler and never offered again.

“...alright. I’ll call you again if I can think of anything else.”

“Certainly. Oh and, sir?”

“What, Klaus?”

“Take all the time you need.”

The line clicked and I punched the ‘end’ button. Ugh. I hated being fretted over. It was acceptable when Rinoa did it because I found it cute. This was not that. I rolled to my side and slowly sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the cot. Someone had taken off my boots and slid blue hospital booties onto my stocking feet. My stomach lurched. Three meals a day? Not happening today, that’s for sure.

I looked around the room. It was sparse and immaculately clean. White and blue checkered tile covered the floor. The walls were light blue. An examination table covered in paper was against the wall in the far corner and a sink was attached to the opposite side of the wall. Two low, uncomfortable looking chairs sat on either side of the door. A poster diagramming the nervous system was attached to the door. A small bulletin board was hung next to the cot. Most of the pamphlets tacked to it were for events several years out of date including one advertising the opening of the then “new” quad. My eyes stopped when I spotted a familiar postcard. In a delicate cursive font the title read “Remembering Rinoa Heartilly-Leonhart.” The details of the service were listed below in a regular typeface.

Rinoa’s memorial service wasn’t planned by me, or any of my friends for that matter. Once the student body caught wind of her death they organized the entire event. I was in such a strange frame of mind it hadn’t occurred to me to even plan a funeral much less a memorial service. It was held in the meadow outside of the orphanage in Centra. I sat in the front row of the crowd, Rinoa’s father on one side, Stormy on the other, and a week old Squall in my lap. Faculty and students took turns recounting their favorite memories of her. Selphie had volunteered to speak but by the time it was her turn she was sobbing too hard to get any words out. Irvine filled in, stiltedly talking about when he first met Rinoa. Not the best story for her funeral, but it did get an inappropriate laugh from me, of all people. Everyone pretended like they didn’t hear it. Someone played a violin version of “Eyes On Me” and the students released thousands of white balloons into the sky. My burning headache whisked me back to the present and I pressed my lips together to hold back whatever emotion was trying to creep out. Not. Today.

The door slid open again and Quistis stepped in. “The doctor said it would be alright?”

“...yeah.” I didn’t want to nod, I was starting to feel sore from the fall in other places.

“I don’t know if Klaus told you, but I’ll get the boys and they can come home with me tonight. I don’t mind. You keep Syke and Astrid so often I suppose I should step it up some.” Or period.

Quistis motioned to the door. “She says you have to stay overnight so is there anything you want me to get you? A change of clothes, toothbrush, a book?”

Overnight? This day keeps getting better and better, I thought. Since I had to travel frequently I kept overnight bags pre-packed just in case. “Yeah, there’s a bag ready in the closet in the front room.” I dug in my pocket and tossed her my keys.

Quistis nodded and adjusted her glasses. “Anything else?”

Peace of mind. “There’s some stuff in my office, but I can have Klaus bring it down.”

“I could get it though, I really don’t mind.”

I eyed her suspiciously. What’s going on?

“Listen.” Quistis looked over her shoulder to see if the doctor was around then shut the door. “I owe you an apology. For yesterday.” She paused and bit her lip, searching for the words she wanted to say. “I...Xu is one of the reasons...She’s one of the reasons Seifer and I separated to begin with. Then I found out she’s been talking to Astrid about becoming a field reporter, and then moving in with her and Seifer when he gets back and I...” She trailed off and stared down at her feet. “I lost it. I’d held it all in for so long it all just came out in a rush. I never should have taken it out on you, and I apologize.”

That seemed bold of Xu, but she was one who got whatever she set her sights on, dealing with whoever was in her way. Like Quistis, Xu was a prodigy. Quistis was more decorated in spite of being let go then reinstated as an instructor. Their rivalry had been intense and Xu had disapproved when Cid reinstated Quistis’ position. There was bad blood between the two since. I had known of the mutual dislike, I just hadn’t thought that Seifer was also involved.

“I guess I made the right choice for the mission, then.”

Quistis smiled weakly. “Yes.” She walked to the window and adjusted the blinds letting more daylight into the room. “Just so we’re on the same page: I don’t want to get back together with Seifer...and I don’t care that he’s with Xu now. They’re a better match than we ever were, and if he’s finally happy, I’m happy. I do want the father of my children home safely, I but I swear my performance in this mission will not suffer because of that.”

“Understood.”

Quistis’ eyes drifted to the bulletin board and then to the postcard. She swallowed and moved closer, plucking it off. “Oh, Squall. Yo-”

“Stop.”

I had caught her off guard. Quistis flinched and held her hands to her midriff as though shielding herself.

I looked away from her searching blue eyes. “I...can’t.”

She nodded resolutely and tucked the card into her hip pocket. She straightened again and adjusted her jacket.

“Ok then, so I’ll tell Klaus to call down in a bit and I’ll pick up the kids today.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, good.” She lightly touched my shoulder. “I’ll bring them by later to see you before we head home for the night.”

“Sounds fine.”

Quistis looked like she wanted to ask me something but shook her head. “Get some rest, why don’t you?” With that she turned and walked out of the room.

My neck and back had started ache in the short time I was sitting upright so I pulled my legs back onto the cot and rolled down into the supine position. I shut my eyes. Just get through today, I thought.


	7. Protect

“Again.” 

Zell wiped a fist across his nose and dropped his chin, lowering his body to a defensive stance. Sweat slicked his hair flat. Quistis was on my opposite side about eight feet away. To the untrained eye she looked totally open. She paced deliberately, and fluidly, right hand gripping her whip tightly. Irvine was on the furthest side of the sparring ring. His gun rested over his shoulder. He stood perfectly still, focused on Zell. 

Before it was discovered to be mobile, students sparred outside of the building wherever there was open space. When the gymnasium was added to the training center the sparring ring was included in a fortified adjacent room. The room itself was unimpressive. Concrete walls and floors with lighting that could be changed to mimic different times of day or weather. The ring was a massive platform, 150 feet across and it stood 6 feet off the floor. One could enter and exit the ring via a ramp that spiraled to the floor below. Unlike a boxing ring there were no ropes marking the edge, so you had to be careful about avoiding that area or risk falling. 

There we two days until we left for Galbadia and everyone was tense. I always spent a few hours training every week just for regular conditioning, but Irvine suggested hand-to-hand and full on weapons sparring. Nida declined the offer to join us. 

This was our fourth round. Irvine, Quistis and I had taken turns being the enemy, and it was now Zell’s. He rushed forward heading in my direction. “Protect!” Quistis shouted. A blue wall appeared in front me just before the first blow was landed. I planted my feet and braced for impact. The spell and the flat edge of my gunblade blocked the damage. A sharp ‘ding’ sounded and shocking blue light lit up the room briefly. Zell was ricocheted backward, turning midair and landing in a handstand. He flipped over onto his feet and also cast protect. 

Quistis’ whip cracked through the air and narrowly missed Zell’s leg. He sprinted toward her and began delivering fast blows in a complex combo. She grunted and blocked him with her forearms but was getting pushed closer and closer to the edge of the ring. The magical shield flashed like a strobe light as she guarded each blow.

I recognized the order of moves. This attack was ‘punch rush,’ next was ‘booya.’ The punches could be blocked, but the following move was meant to confuse opponents by faking the end of the combo and Zell rarely missed. It was too late. As predicted, he staggered back a few steps. “Quistis, move!” I shouted. She dove to the right but his knee made contact with the side of her head, knocking her over. She rolled to avoid flopping over the side of the ring. The shield pinged shrilly as it absorbed some of the impact. Quistis scrambled to her feet only to be hit on the other side of her head by a ‘heel drop.’ The barrier pushed Zell back far enough for me to land a blow to the backs of his knees, ending the combo before he finished her. He fell then rolled, springing back to his feet. Zell held his fists close to his body and bounced in place, ready to start his limit break again. 

“Blizzaga!” Irvine yelled. I felt the air chill around me. The spell was meant for Zell, but tier three elemental magic had a much larger surface area and one could accidentally get caught in the crossfire. I sprinted out of the way to avoid the ice beginning to form. Zell attempted to move but was a second too late. His legs were immobilized in a dazzling block of ice. It climbed up his body encasing him briefly in a crystal pillar before exploding. Shards flew everywhere, stinging my face and arms. Zell groaned and staggered sideways.

“Squall, go!” Irvine yelled. I rushed him hard and swung my gunblade, making impact with his side. Protect knocked me back a few steps but before I could deliver the finishing blow Quistis’ whip flailed overhead and lashed Zell across his face. He spun in a circle and collapsed. 

“Woohoo! Knockout!” Irvine cheered. “Nice work Quisty.” 

Blood was streaming out of Quistis’ nostrils. She untied the handkerchief around her bun and shoved it to her face. “No thanks to you,” she nasally replied. 

“Hey I’m not firing live rounds in here, I already told you that.”

I fished a Phoenix Down out of my shorts pocket and tossed it at Zell. A moment later his eyes fluttered open. “Ugh, damn. You got me good.” I extended a hand and helped him up. “Not bad, not bad at all.” He winced and pressed a hand to his chin. There was a deep slice from the whip. 

“Let’s call it a night, shall we?” Quistis folded the handkerchief over and pressed a clean corner to her nose. 

“End session,” I yelled. The lights turned back up and two attendants entered the room. One was pushing a wheelchair. 

“Is anyone in need of a visit to the infirmary?”

“Yo.” Zell pointed at himself. 

“Instructor Trepe?” 

Quistis shook her head. “I’ll be fine, thank you. Nothing a potion and some ice can’t fix.” 

“Mr. Kinneas?” 

Irvine held both arms in front of himself and turned in a circle. “Not a scratch!” I rolled my eyes. His long coat wasn’t even dirty, meanwhile the rest of us had had our asses kicked. 

“Commander Leonhart?” 

“No, I’m good.” I had a few scrapes here and there. My knuckles were bloodied and swollen from blocking Zell’s fists, Quistis’ whip, and hitting the ground multiple times. I usually wore gloves when I used my gunblade to protect my hands from knicks. Not today though. I’d been eager to get into the training center and only changed out of my uniform. 

The girl nodded and helped Zell into the wheelchair. The other attendant, a young man, handed me a clipboard. “I’ll just need your signature here sir confirming one minor injury.” 

Since when did we start documenting injuries in the training center? I guess Zell was trying to cover all Garden’s bases after a student had been maimed in the center the year before, I thought. I signed it and handed it back to him. The attendants nodded genially at us and wheeled Zell out of the room. 

Quistis peeled off her track jacket and tied it around her waist. Underneath she wore a salmon colored tank top that matched her pants. A scar, raised and pink snaked it’s way from her chest to her left arm. Evidence of a Malboro attack. The gases they exhaled were as dangerous as their tentacles. 

Potions and white magic could heal most injuries as long as they were administered immediately. The longer someone bled out, or if infection set in, the effectiveness of either remedy was greatly reduced. Neither had the power to heal broken bones and depending on the injury, scars were also possible. Other than the scar on my face, the I had a circular one below my right collarbone about the size of a gil from being impaled by Edea when we’d tried assassinating her in Deling years ago. The rest of my body was marked up from injuries I either didn’t notice or couldn’t remember getting. 

Irvine rolled up a sleeve to look at his watch. His brows shot up to the rim of his hat. “Oh wow, gotta get home to the misses!” He ran over to the door then stopped short. “One more time tomorrow?” 

“Sure. As long as I have the time.” 

Irvine nodded in my direction. “Squall? You game?” 

“Sounds fine to me.” 

With that he tipped his hat and walked off. Quistis dabbed at her nose with the handkerchief and frowned. 

“You might want to have the doctor take a look at that,” I said. 

“He didn’t hit my face, It’s just a broken blood vessel.” I shrugged. It’s your nose. 

“Goodnight, Squall.” Quistis waved and headed out of the room. I turned my wrist and checked my watch. 9:37pm. I should probably head home too, I thought. 

I packed my gunblade back into its case and then attached the strap. I slung it across my body and made my way out of the training center. When I walked in hours earlier the building had been teeming with students, staff, and faculty. Late afternoons tended to get busy in Balamb Garden. The entire institution ran on the same schedule, so when classes let out the halls would be thick with students going in every direction. 

General curfew was 11pm each night, 9:30pm for students under the age of sixteen. The halls were quiet and, except for a few night staff walking around, the atrium was dead. The sound of the gurgling fountain and hum of the lights overhead were as comforting as they were relaxing. I yawned. 

In addition to the “prescription” of diet that Dr Kadowaki gave me two days before, she’d also demanded I get eight hours of sleep each night leading up to the mission. If I ate and showered as soon as I got in, I could be in bed by 11pm. I had to be up by six, but something was better than nothing. She’d also told me to take it easy. I’m sure sparring wasn’t exactly what she’d meant. Anything worth doing was worth half-assing. 

I made my way to the elevator and swiped my ID to access the mezzanine. When the doors opened Stormy was inside. He smiled sheepishly and backed toward the wall when I stepped inside. 

“I can totally explain,” he began, holding up his hands defensively. “I was going to the training center to work on my magic a little bit, that’s all.”

If I don’t die in Galbadia next week this boy will be the end of me. I turned away from him and pressed the ‘m’ key. 

“...uh, so are you mad? I mean, sure I get it. I didn’t ask first. I didn’t wait till you got home. I left Squall home alone. Technically it’s curfew...the list is pretty long. But, y’know I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d go knock around some monsters.” 

“...you couldn’t sleep?” 

I heard him shift around behind me. “Well, yeah. I just can’t sleep sometimes.” 

The doors opened and we stepped into the mezzanine level. It looked like the halls of a hotel. Thickly carpeted floor and rows of numbered doors stretched in opposite directions away from the elevator. Our unit was a few feet from the elevator. 

“How often is sometimes?”

Stormy shrugged. “Once or twice a week, I guess.” 

A prickle ran up my spine. It’s probably nothing, I thought. He’s a growing kid, there’s a lot going on right now, so it’s nothing. This is perfectly normal. Everyone has a sleepless every now and then. It’s nothing. I put the key in the door and paused. 

“So you’re not mad?”

I sighed. “...no, I’m not mad.”

Stormy fidgeted around for a moment. “You just seem...upset.”

I smoothed his hair back from his forehead so he could look at me. “I am...but not at you, ok?” 

Stormy looked down and nodded. Guilt rushed through me. You need to quit being so hard on him, he’s only twelve for God’s sake. 

“Dad? You gonna open the door?” 

I blinked. I’d just been standing there with my hand on the doorknob, but hadn’t moved. 

“Is your brother asleep?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you want to go to the beach?” 

Stormy stared at me. “You’re being really weird all of a sudden...why?” 

“When Mom couldn’t sleep she’d go to the beach. So, do you want to go?”

“Um, ok I guess.” 

I turned the key backward to lock the door again and slid the bag back over my shoulder. 

“Hey, Dad?” 

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”


	8. Timber

The last time I was in Timber the city was working toward rebuilding what was leftover after almost twenty years of foreign military occupation. Garden hadn’t been hired out per se, but Rinoa’s old Forest Owls colleagues Watts and Zone practically begged for whatever help Garden could spare in settling down an underground insurgent group. The group called themselves Roshfall named after the thick forests surrounding Timber. Though most of Timber’s original residents were against Galbadian rule there was a growing minority that wanted Galbadia to officially annex the country. They saw the occupation as nothing more than a tedious absorption process. 

After Vinzer Deling was killed the Galbadian Army withdrew from Timber unofficially. Many of the soldiers stationed there defected to Dollet or deserted their posts taking advantage of the complete mess Galbadia’s government had become. 

The simmering pot of discontent in Timber bubbled over into complete chaos in the following years. It was as unsafe to stay in the city as it was to leave. A total breakdown in their infrastructure lead to a massive overgrowth of dangerous monsters in the surrounding towns. Trains eventually stopped running to the city leading to massive food shortages. 

All the bad news from Timber weighed on Rinoa heavily. I found her in tears over the situation on more than a few occasions. One day there had been a skirmish that killed several people at the Forest Owls’ headquarters. “I wish I could have helped more,” she cried. “I-I left them alone...I never should have left them!” I hated it as much as she did. My first real mission as a SeeD was a total failure. There was no possibility we’d ever been successful, but I felt as much guilt as she did. “This isn’t your fault,” I said attempting to calm her down. She pulled away from me and scowled, tears streaming down her flushed face. “You don’t think I know that?! Can’t you just let me feel the way I want without trying to throw in logic?” She then rushed out of the house without shoes, slamming the door behind her. 

A year before Rinoa died I accepted the offer from Watts and Zone to help remove Roshfall altogether. The city was, by all accounts, still doing poorly but was finally ready to restart their government. I sent two squads of SeeDs who, with the help of a tiny number of Forest Owls willing to fight, took down Roshfall. I spent six months or so going back and forth to Timber helping Watts and Zone create a stronger and higher functioning organization. When the terms of the contract were complete I felt confident that Timber was on its way to full independence. And it was, to a degree. Issues with elections, shortages of provisions, and the monster problem made progress slow. Then last year, five years after declaring independence, Timber was again occupied. 

Trains supervised by Galbadia ran to the city now. Most were freight, shipping in food and supplies. Passenger trains were rare and only carried military personnel. Ours was such. The ride from Balamb to Timber was silent and I was thankful. Zell usually talked everyone’s ears off, especially before missions, but today he was pensive. Two Galbadian soldiers stood watch by the exit at the end of the car. 

I figured we wouldn’t be riding alone. The train slowed then lurched to an abrupt stop. Nida and I exchanged quizzical glances. The exit door opened and a man in a dark suit entered. Three higher ranking soldiers with guns drawn followed close behind. He was middle aged, about my height with closely cropped blonde hair. He smiled and extended both arms out to his sides. “Welcome to Timber. I’m Burr Randolph Interior Minister of Northern Galbadia.” I stood and he extended a hand. I didn’t shake it. The exchange of niceties was always tedious to me. 

“Squall Leonhart, Commander and Headmaster of Balamb Garden.” I motioned to my left and right. “Zell, Quistis, Irvine, and Nida all faculty and SeeDs at Balamb Garden.” 

Minister Randolph nodded approvingly, shaking the other’s hands, smiling too hard. “I hope you don’t mind, but the station inside the city is getting some much needed repairs this week. All trains have to stop just outside the gates. It’s a bit of a walk, but an executive vehicle will meet us at the entrance.” 

“We don’t mind, as long as we remain on schedule,” I answered. I didn’t like how much he was smiling. 

“Oh, no need to worry. We will be right on schedule. This way, please.” He motioned to the open door. I picked up my bag and walked ahead of the others, following Randolph down the steps and onto the tracks. The soldiers flanked us on all sides. Not taking any chances I see. 

The air was humid and warm. It wasn’t quite summer yet, but it was clear this year would be sweltering. I felt beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead. It didn’t help that were all wearing the SeeD formal uniform complete with medals and sash. The train had been climate controlled, hopefully the car would be too. 

Randolph strolled next to me leisurely. “So, what do you prefer me to call you? Headmaster or Commander?” 

“Commander will do.”

He moved in closer so no one else could hear him. “Ah, certainly. So, Commander Leonhart, tell me: is it true that you are married to a Rinoa Heartilly?” 

“...yes. She died six years ago.”

He looked to the sky and held a hand to his chest as though saying a prayer. “My dearest condolences, Commander. Forgive my direct approach. I ask because her father, General Caraway recently passed. It seems that a sizable trust has been left to Ms. Heartilly and her offspring.” 

Why is he telling me this? And why now, I thought. There’s something to this...

“I, I didn’t know,” I answered. He was uncomfortably close to me, almost shoulder to shoulder. 

“I figured as much with things being the way they are.” He motioned to the nondescript soldiers plodding ahead just feet away. “I’m mentioning this now because it may help you later.” He winked and patted my shoulder. “You don’t remember now, but you will. You’ll see.”

Before I could answer we were standing in front of a large vehicle, slick and black. A few military vehicles sat nearby. Security was exceedingly tight, but it was clear most of it was for show. The MP in the car to my left yawned. 

Randolph walked ahead of us and motioned to the officers who followed him into the train. “Here’s the slightly unpleasant bit.” 

And this heat is just a walk in the park, I thought. 

“All your luggage and personal affects will need to be turned in to my officers,” he continued. “Please include any and all weapons.” I hadn’t anticipated this. Zell shot me a look that said, “ you can’t be serious?” I nodded and handed my bags over. 

“Not to worry, said Randolph jovially. “All your items will be returned to you at the hotel. It is policy to inspect all packages entering the city.” 

One of the soldiers lingered near Quistis after she handed him her bag. “We’ll also need to perform a pat down for any hidden weapons, Minister.” He looked her up and down slowly. 

“Yeah, no way.” Irvine crossed his arms. 

The guard moved closer and Quistis stared him down. “Touch me, and that hand will never touch anything again,” she said cooly. 

Randolph cleared his throat. “Come now Thames, that’s very rude of you. My sincere apologies, there will be no search of any sort.” He scowled at the soldier who had already begun to load our stuff into a car. “Some of our soldiers are used to dealing only with the worst aspects of people. They’re unaccustomed to civility.” 

“That’s one helluva excuse,” Zell growled under his breath. 

I narrowed my eyes at Randolph. “I’m expecting every single person on my team to be treated with the same respect here. We’re not off to a good start.” 

Randolph nodded and looked repentant. “Oh yes, I completely agree. I accept blame for that gross display of lascivious behavior. It will be handled, I assure you.”

He motioned to the vehicle, his smile had gone thin and wavered a bit. “Please, have a seat inside!” 

We climbed into the darkened vehicle to be greeted with cool, dry air. Randolph slid in last and shut the door. He knocked on the glass separating the driver from the back seat and the engine revved. 

He turned to Quistis who was on the end near the window. “Ms. Quistis, I hope that didn’t upset you.” 

Quistis stared ahead without answering.


	9. Worry

I spent the day before I left for Timber with my sons. It was getting harder and harder to carve out time with them as they got older, plus I wanted to them to be calm when I left. It always upset Rinoa when I’d go on missions. The threat of death was ever present. I suppose it wasn’t something I truly thought about with any seriousness until I had a family of my own. I knew that the boys would be in good hands should anything happen to me.

This time around they would be staying with Zell’s wife Kallisto and their boys. She must’ve seen me grimace when she offered to put them up because she said, “Oh please, Squall. I’ve literally given birth to a wrestling team, I can handle two more!” That was an understatement. I’d witnessed the boys do everything from shoving one another off the edge of the fishing platform at the harbor to riding Zell’s old T-board down the side of their roof. And that didn’t account for the minor mischief all three got into regularly at school. Their youngest, Zel, with one “l” for reasons only they understood, was seven and friends with Squall. Bel was fifteen, and Rolo was thirteen. Kallisto worked in Garden’s library as a shelver when we were all students and was now the head librarian. Admittedly, it took a few years to stop calling her “library girl” in my mind. 

I decided to take the kids into town for the day to have lunch at the harbor then to go swimming at the public beach. Tourist season was still a few weeks off, so the downtown area was quiet. Squall ran a few feet ahead of Stormy and I excitedly talking to himself, and I assumed, the birds flitting back and forth overhead. I had dressed him for the beach early that morning to avoid a fight later if he got cranky. While he was busy strapping on his sandals, a new skill, I’d strapped a white bucket hat to his head. Squall was definitely too old for the strap, but he wasn’t dexterous enough yet to undo the clip under his chin meaning he was trapped until an adult removed it. The rim flapped every time he jumped and looked hilarious. 

“That’s so annoying,” Stormy groaned pointing at his brother’s shenanigans. 

“You were five once.” 

Stormy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but not like that.”

I looked down at him and shrugged. “I don’t know, you’re pretty annoying now.” I shoved him playfully and he flailed his thin arms at me. 

“Hey cut it out! I’m gonna be thirteen this summer. I’m not a kid anymore.” He folded his arms and hair flopped into his eyes. 

I stifled a laugh. He had a lot of Rinoa’s mannerisms including her serious expression. Her bangs would slide over her eyes too when she was mad. It was endearing. 

“That’s true. I guess that means I’m old now, right?” 

“Geriatric,” Stormy replied. He wasn’t entirely wrong, after all. I was older than most of his classmates’ parents. “You’re already basically senile, Dad. You forgot why you went into the front room three times this morning.”

The forgetfulness was starting to become a noticeable issue. I couldn’t address it yet, not until I was sure everything was alright with Stormy. But I couldn’t even adequately set aside time to worry about my own child because of the rescue mission...which had briefly slipped my mind as well. 

“Commander Leonhart, what are your thoughts on this?” Randolph’s ebullient voice cut through my revery. The vehicle went over a bump, forcing me back into the present. 

“...I’m sorry, I didn’t hear your question.” I shifted in my seat. Get it together for crying out loud, I thought. Quistis glanced at me then went back to looking out the window. I swore she could hear my thoughts sometimes. 

Randolph smiled and pressed his hands together in his lap. “You know, you SeeDs are an impressive bunch. I can only imagine all the important details you have to keep track of, and yet so professional and restrained. I must say, we could use a taste of that around here!” 

I didn’t reply to the fake platitudes. This was the longest car ride in the history of the world. The man was clearly working hard to entertain us for some indiscernible reason, and it wasn’t working. 

“Minister Rudolph thinks Esthar should be open to talks with Northern Galbadia.” Nida offered. He smiled nervously in my direction. I sighed. Just play the game. 

“I’m sure President Loire has his reasons for keeping the borders contained,” I answered. I knew more than that but it was, of course, privileged information. 

“A very diplomatic response! You see, there is very little civil conversation these days about Northern Galbadia even in Parliament. I hope that you will see that our goals aren’t dissimilar, Commander. I can envision a future connection between your organization and this budding nation!” 

Zell was sitting next to me and I heard him blow a puff of air out of his mouth. I shot him a quick glance. ‘Do. Not.’ A muscle in his jaw moved but he said nothing and stared out the window. 

The car slowed to a halt and the door opened ending our brief respite from the sticky weather. We emerged from the vehicle in the lower quarter of the city. I recognized the old train station and shops. There was some activity on the street from locals. They were mainly interested in what we were doing, watching carefully from a distance. 

The buildings looked rundown, each having at least one boarded window. Bits of trash and newspaper were strewn about the street. Galbadian soldiers were everywhere patrolling, looking in windows, or talking to each other. This was not at all the place it was the last time I was here. Irvine leaned over my shoulder. “Looks like a bomb went off, doesn’t it?” he said in a low voice. For all we knew that may have well happened. 

“The Hotel is just up these stairs.” Randolph pointed to the steps that connected the shopping arcade to the entertainment district. “You’ll have the opportunity to settle yourselves a bit before the meeting once we arrive.” 

Soldiers walked ahead of Randolph and we followed him up the steps with soldiers trailing behind. When we reached the upper level I could see that the hotel had expanded into the four surrounding buildings, one of which was the city’s newspaper “Timber Maniacs.” The old sign remained attached, rusted out and nearly falling off. The hotel’s sign had been lowered and moved to the center of the buildings. It was lit up even though it was daytime. Soldiers guarded the entrance and saluted Randolph as we approached. Randolph nodded at them as we passed through the checkpoint. 

“The hotel is reserved for dignitaries and government personnel,” he explained. “It has been and will be some time before any true visitors stay here unfortunately.” 

“Then why make it larger?” Zell asked. “If you’re not getting guests wouldn’t it be a better use of resources to leave it its original size?” 

Randolph smiled appreciatively at him. “The Hotel was expanded prior to our arrival here. It seems that city officials had a plan for this section of the city and it was never truly realized.” 

The lobby was unusually opulent for how drab the outside of the building was. Shiny tiled floors stretched out in every direction and expensive looking furniture decorated the edges of the enormous room. Soldiers stood guard inconspicuously throughout. Randolph picked up a cardkey from the unattended front desk and handed it to me. 

“This will get you in and out of your room upstairs. It’s been quite a morning for all of you I’m sure, so I will allow you some time to decompress before our meeting with the other members of parliament at noon.” Randolph glanced at his watch. “I’ll meet you all back here at ten to noon. Your room number is on the cardkey.”


	10. Zone

“None of it’s here.” Nida opened the large closet again and stuck his head inside. Irvine ticked through the luggage for the third time then shrugged. Of course, I thought. They confiscated our weapons as a security measure. Great. 

“Randolph seemed reasonable,” Irvine said sitting down on one of the beds. “I mean, this isn’t ideal, but...I think we’ll be out of here in no time.”

“Yes, without our weapons, you idiot!” Quistis snapped. “They aren’t stupid.” 

Zell knocked his fists together. “Hey, we’ll be a’ight. If anything pops off I’ll be ready!” He has turned in his gloves, but Zell’s bare fists could still inflict decent damage. 

“I feel so much better,” Nida said sarcastically. 

“Oh knock it off,” said Quistis. She pushed her glasses up and pinched the skin between her eyes. 

I peered through the blinds on the window to the streets below. There were at least two soldiers for every civilian. If anything went wrong it would be best to get out of town before any fighting started. Every SeeD was trained to be proficient in hand to hand combat as a compliment to their specialty skill, but we would still be at a major disadvantage.

“We still need to get through this meeting.” I walked away from the window and faced the group. “Once that’s finished, no matter the outcome, we’ll talk.” I pressed a finger to my lips and pointed at the door. We couldn’t take any chances. 

Quistis looked down at her watch. “It’s almost time.” She stepped in front of the mirror hanging by the door and smoothed a hand over the back of her head. Her hair was gathered in a tight bun. “Uni check, everyone.” Quistis was the only one of us who wore her SeeD uniform daily and took it pretty seriously. I didn’t see the need to enforce the uniform policies in the handbook outside of special events. I looked down. Everything seemed to be in place even though I was now extremely uncomfortable. The hotel room wasn’t air conditioned, just the lobby. 

Irvine opened the door and dramatically waved his arm. “Shall we?”

When we returned to the lobby Randolph was there with an older woman and two men, one of whom looked very familiar. Randolph nodded at us, plastic grin still attached. “Counselors, this is Commander Leonhart and his cohort...” He paused to recall names. 

“Quistis, Irvine, Nida, and Zell,” I said motioning to each person. 

Randolph smiled graciously and clasped his hands together. He motioned to his right. “This is Counselor Taki.” The woman offered a brief smile. Her snowy hair fell to her shoulders and she wore a pearl necklace with matching earrings over a grey jacket and dress. She was clearly not as friendly. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Commander.”

“The strapping young man on the end here,” Randolph turned and motioned to his left, “is Counselor Randolph, my son.” 

He was a head taller than Randolph, with strawberry blonde hair. “Pleased to meet you all!” His voice was full of the same nauseating cheerfulness.

Randolph beamed at him briefly then pointed to the man beside him. “Lastly, this is Counselor Zone.” 

I did a double take. Zone? COUNSELOR Zone?! I exchanged confused glances with Quistis and Zell. He was almost unrecognizable. His typically spiky hair was slicked down and he looked remarkably aged. Deep lines creased his now thinned face. The last time I had seen him was when I left Timber six years before. 

Zone stepped toward us with open arms. “It’s good to see you all again.” He took Quistis hands and squeezed them then moved onto Zell, patting his shoulder. “This is a bit awkward, I know,” he said stepping in front of me. I stared back at him. ‘Awkward’ wasn’t exactly the word I’d chosen. Zone had dedicated his life to liberating Timber. He had been willing to die for the freedom of the people there, what happened? Zone ignored my silence and went on to shake hands with Irvine and Nida. 

“Oh! That’s right, you all worked together in the past! What a fortuitous circumstance!” Randolph laughed heartily. Please, shut up. 

“This, is...” Quistis shook her head. “I, I don’t understand...” 

“I don’t mean to interrupt this little reunion, but I do believe it’s time to start the meeting, Minister,” said Counselor Taki impatiently. 

“Ah yes! This way, please!” Randolph moved across the room quickly toward an open door. The guarding soldier saluted him as he entered. 

Zell hung back from the group and walked alongside me. “Something weird is goin’ on here, Squall,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t like this.” 

The guard at the door was watching us too closely. As I approached the door I caught a glimpse of his face. He had a scar between his eyes. Seifer.


	11. Seifer

•Chapter 11: Seifer•

It was about a month before Stormy was born when she started to struggle noticeably. At first I thought it was time for the baby. We were at the spring SeeD celebration. Normally, Rinoa would be pestering me to dance with her. I had anticipated to be interrupted at some point in the evening, but that night she sat at our reserved table, a glass of water in hand. 

There were seven new SeeDs that spring, two earned commendations. I gave a brief speech congratulating them all and pinned ribbons to the two star students. As I descended the stage I noticed Rinoa grimace and press her fists into her thighs. I had remained somewhat ambivalent about what to expect once it was time for Rinoa to give birth, but panic set in. 

I pushed my way through the crowd as quickly as I could, almost falling over the table when I reached her. “What’s wrong, are you alright,” I sputtered. “Is it time?” 

Rinoa shook her head and smiled up at me. She was always beautiful, but her white dress made her look angelic. Her usually pale skin took on a rosy glow while she was pregnant making her dark eyes and hair even more striking. 

“I’m not in labor, Squall. My joints just hurt, that’s all.” 

Alarms were going off in my head. “What? You’re sure? I mean it’s not like you’d know what that even feels like.” 

Rinoa cocked her head to the side. “So labor begins in your hands, then?” She laughed and tried to get out of the chair, scooting a few times before laughing again. “Here, gimme a yank!” 

I placed a hand under her arm and pulled Rinoa to her feet. She stretched her arms and waddled a few steps forward pointing her toes. The orchestra began playing an upbeat waltz and people rushed to the dance floor. Selphie and Irvine waved at us from a distance, motioning to the action before running there themselves. 

“This’ll be our last dance before we’re parents,” Rinoa said batting her eyes flirtatiously. She extended a hand to me. 

“You said your hands hurt.” 

“I’m fine! Look!” She waved her fingers around my face. “C’mon, I love this waltz!” She turned in a circle then tapped me on the nose. 

“But, I-“

Rinoa rolled her eyes and spotted Seifer walking by, drink in hand. “Seifer! Seifer come dance with me!” 

Seifer took a sip of his drink and approached us. A coy smile pulled on the corners of his mouth. “What’s all this, then?”

Rinoa planted her hands on her hips, pushing her large belly out even further. “Squall won’t dance with me,” she said sticking out her lower lip, feigning hurt feelings. 

I narrowed my eyes at her. I came over here because I was concerned about you, woman, I thought.

“Can’t have that now, can we?” He took another sip and winked at Rinoa. 

“Oh for god’s sake, come on,” I said exasperated. 

Rinoa grinned and wrapped her hands around my arm as I trudged toward the center of the room. Like every SeeD, I knew most of the formal waltzes for parties of this type. That being said, I didn’t particularly enjoy dancing and still don’t. I moved slowly to account for Rinoa’s waddle. 

She laughed and held a hand to her stomach. “The baby likes dancing, I think. She’s kicking a lot.”

“It’s a she today, huh?”

“I think so,” Rinoa said turning then spinning back to my arms. She was still light on her feet in spite of the waddle. 

Beyond the action on the dance floor I spotted Quistis and Seifer arguing near the buffet. Seifer pointed to something beyond my line of sight. They were both yelling, faces contorted and red but the music drowned them out. Suddenly, Quistis snatched a pitcher of water from the end of the buffet table, flung it at him, then slammed it back down. Seifer was immediately drenched in the freezing water. Ice cubes and lemons flew everywhere. He stormed off in the opposite direction, shoving a few gawking guests aside in the process. Quistis stood there a moment, hands in tight fists, before stomping out of the room too. A small clump of students gathered whispering and giggling. I was tempted to find out what was going on, but I knew it wouldn’t be worth it. Oil and water, that’s what Quistis and Seifer were together. If it hadn’t been for Astrid they would never had stayed married as long as they did. 

I turned my attention back to the dancing. Rinoa smiled up at me then sucked her breath in sharply and pulled her hand off my shoulder. I stood still. “Let me see.” She extended her hand and I could see that her knuckles were swollen and red. I lifted her other hand to compare and saw that it was the same. Her wrists were red too. 

“Alright, party’s over for you,” I said gently nudging her off the dance floor. Rinoa sighed and nodded. “When did this start?” 

Rinoa looked down and shook her head. She never wanted to worry me. “A little while ago.” 

“How long is a little while?” 

She didn’t answer, just looked down at the floor waiting for me to move on to another subject. 

“I’m taking you to the infirmary so we can get to the bottom of this.” 

Rinoa scoffed. “I’ll be fine, really. You don’t need to worry with me.” 

“And the baby?” 

Rinoa rolled her eyes. “Alright...” 

That was her way, always telling me not to worry about her. It was probably because of the number of threats to her life in the first months we knew one another. She also may have felt obligated to always be at my side because we had both lost so much as children. Her insistence that she was fine when she clearly was not to keep me from worrying was a problem in our marriage we never resolved. 

Still, seeing Quistis and Seifer constantly fight, I counted us lucky. I couldn’t imagine being at odds all the time, neither one caring how the other felt or feeling compelled to be there for the other. Their daughter, just a little girl then, was the glue. 

I knew Quistis saw Seifer as she walked into the meeting room because I saw her smooth an invisible wrinkle from her uniform as she sat down. A nervous tendency. She had obviously been the more preferable pick for this over Xu, but seeing the small crack in her shell...I wondered if she regretted the what happened between them.


	12. Watts

“It took several years to make it happen, but here we are! To be sitting in the same room with Garden’s finest is a great honor.” Randolph was stalling for time. The prime minister was nearly an hour late. We’d already finished the bland lunch offering and now, tired from the journey and peripheral stress, I was beginning to get irritable. 

“Minister, this is not intended to be rude in any way,” Quistis said removing her glasses, “but when can we expect the prime minister?”

Randolph grinned hard, his eyes darting and nervous. He checked his watch and his face twitched. “Oh-Oh dear. Well, I do believe that I need to speak to a few people to find out what is going on then.” He whipped his head around his shoulder at the soldier standing at the door and nodded. The soldier nodded back at him and disappeared. Randolph turned back to us and gave me a lemony smile. 

“I sincerely apologize on his behalf, Commander. This is highly untoward!” Randolph blinked a few times, momentarily out of words. “If you’ll please excuse me.” He stood and rushed out. This guy is going to give himself a heart attack.

Counselor Taki pushed back from the table and stood. “I was expecting this meeting to be concluding by this time. You’ll have to forgive my absence, I am needed elsewhere this afternoon.” She nodded at each of us. “Again, pleased to make your acquaintance Commander Leonhart. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing each other again soon.” 

“Understandable, thank you for making the effort to be here.” This was becoming a mess. 

When Taki left welcome silence hovered over the table. Randolph had been filling the air with nonsense and I was thankful for the peace. The younger Randolph pretended to be interested in his meeting notes and flipped through them casually. 

“I’m just gonna say it,” Zell said propping his elbows on the table. “What the hell, Zone?” Quistis, Irvine, and Nida simultaneously stared daggers at him. Zell always said what was on his mind. He’d gotten better at delivery and timing over the years, but it always came out eventually. I never tried to stop him. There was no point in trying to keep someone from being who they were no matter how flawed or inconvenient it was to everyone else. Counselor Randolph’s face flushed, but he didn’t look up. 

“Well, since we’ve got some time. I suppose I do owe you all an explanation here,” Watts said slowly. 

“You were in the Forest Owls practically your entire life, I just don’t see you flipping teams so easily,” said Irvine. 

Zone looked at him evenly. “Not to be coarse, Irvine...but you did side against Galbadia Garden when the chips were down.”

“That was differ-“

Zone held up a hand, momentarily disarming him. “Was it? You had a choice to make. The choice to side with the organization that had trained you into the mercenary you are now or to return to old allies. You chose the latter not because of the kinship, though I’m sure it helped the decision. You chose Balamb because you were disillusioned with Martine’s goals for Galbadia Garden. Yes, you agreed to participate in the mission, but it was a job. When your back was against the wall you took your chance to remain with Balamb. You’ve been fortunate. Exceedingly fortunate.” What a crock. They’d gotten to him, he was even talking like them. 

Irvine didn’t offer a rebuttal. He adjusted his hat and smiled. “I didn’t leave Galbadia Garden because of Martine. That’s where you’re wrong, my friend. Someone’s been feeding you some weird shit.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m not the one needs to defend anything.”

“Fair enough.”

“And Watts?” said Zell. 

Zone sighed. “Watts didn’t agree with my decision to join Timber’s counsel. He...he reacted quite badly to be honest.” He paused for a moment and ran a hand through his hair. “He planned and carried out a few...attacks on the outposts surrounding the city. Unfortunately, that didn’t sit well with the transition of government. He was found guilty of terrorism and interned at the prison.” 

“My god...” I felt my stomach sink and looked straight into his eyes. Zone’s face had gone blank. “You turned him in. You knew what he was doing and you saved yourself.” My face burned. 

Counselor Randolph, who had been silent during the entire exchange, set his notes on the table. He wasn’t smiling, his expression grave. “Commander, this will inevitably be made known once the prime minister is present. However, given this unforeseen pause, I’ll deliver the news to you myself. Unless you’d like to Counselor Zone?” 

“Well, what is it then?!” Zell demanded. 

“Watts was executed last week,” he began. “As were the mercenaries from Garden. From what I understand there had been an escape attempt at the prison.” 

Quistis’ face blanched white. Zell, Irvine and Nida gasped in unison. Our line of work was deadly, but each report of loss of life was no less painful each time it was delivered. If they had been killed there was no telling if the Deling team was out of harm’s way or worse. Seifer had managed to stay alive at least. 

Zone stared at me from across the table. The light in his eyes was completely gone. A slow, sick feeling churned my gut. The prime minister wasn’t on his way. There was no “meeting.” Zone had set the entire thing up. I guessed that the unsuspecting Randolph had also been set up, as had his son and Taki. They must’ve been obstructive or completely unusable to the parliament. It wouldn’t be hard to terminate them in an “accident.” We’d been disarmed and surrounded. There was no way to contact Garden. If the Deling team was still alive they were hundreds of miles out of reach. That’s why Seifer was outside. He was waiting for us to figure it out. My mouth went dry. I couldn’t tell if Zone could see the lightbulb had gone off over my head. 

Quistis’ face crumpled and she started to sob. Her shoulders jerked hard and she bent over, burying her face in her hands. What the hell? Nida was seated next to her and nearly jumped out of his chair. Zell and Irvine stared at her, horrified. Wait, I thought, she knows too. Zone didn’t know Quistis well enough to guess what she was trying to do. 

Counselor Randolph fished a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and slid it across the table in Quistis’ direction. She grabbed it and blew her nose loudly. 

“...Counselor Randolph, do you mind if...?” I motioned to Quistis’ histrionics. 

He shook his head sympathetically. I rose from my chair, went over to Quistis and gingerly lead her out of the room while the others looked on in disbelief. She sobbed loudly the entire way, her voice echoing off the walls. Outside, Seifer and the other guards were gone. I peered ahead down the short hallway leading to the lobby and spotted soldiers standing around chatting. Moving fast, I clamped a hand over Quistis’ mouth and dragged her into an empty office at the other end of the hall. As soon as I shut the door she shoved me backwards with her elbows. 

“Geeze, a little warning next time, you dick.” Quistis clenched and unclenched her jaw then cracked her neck. Her eye makeup was in long black streaks down her cheeks from the crocodile tears. 

“That was impressive.”

“You always underestimate me.” She pulled her hand into her sleeve and wiped her face. “We’ve got ten minutes. Tops. What’s the plan?”


	13. Guardian

Rinoa refused to see any doctor about the pain in her hands and other strange symptoms for years. She ignored my requests and pleading. It was Selphie who convinced her to do it after a particularly frightening episode. Neither Dr Kadowaki or the specialists at Balamb’s hospital could nail down a cause. As a last resort I reached out to Laguna, and as expected he was more than happy to put us up while Rinoa underwent exploratory surgery at Esthar City General. Laguna was overjoyed to meet Stormy and carried him all over the Presidential Residence, showing him to anyone who passed him in the halls. “He’s such a cute little thing,” Laguna gushed. I could see the exasperation on the faces of Laguna’s security detail as they now had to also keep up with a wobbly, newly mobile infant in addition to the president of Esther’s daily antics. While Laguna obsessed over his first grandchild Rinoa and I spent the entire trip at the hospital.

The day of the surgery I waited for Rinoa in the recovery area until a nurse summoned me to her room. Like most of the buildings in Esthar, the entire building had observation windows for each room. A thin glaze of green tinted glass separated me from Rinoa. On the other side she lay unconscious under a thin sheet, her dark hair spread out in a halo on the pillow. Machines attached to her beeped at regular intervals. The nurse checked one of the machines and scribbled something on the pad she was carrying, then stepped back into the hall with me. 

“How is she?” 

“So far, so good Mr Leonhart. The surgery was successful. She will be sore for a few days, no heavy lifting. No exceptions.”

I nodded, keeping my eyes on her. “You said the surgery was successful, what did they find out?”

The nurse stopped writing on her pad and turned to face me. “There are several possible diagnoses. They’re completing testing now and should have a definitive answer once she’s come to.” 

“May I see her?”

“Just for a few minutes.”

I nodded and entered the room. One of Rinoa’s arms was wrapped in a thick layer of gauze bandage. The other was tethered to the machines. When I sat down her eyes fluttered open. 

“Did, did they find anything,” she whispered still groggy from the anesthesia. She lifted the gauzed arm and inspected it. 

“Looks like it. The nurse said they were going to check some things and let us know later.” 

She closed her eyes and sighed. “Are you satisfied?” 

“What do you mean?” 

She opened her eyes and rolled her face toward me. “I know what you’re thinking. And it’s not going to happen. Not for a long time.” Before I could answer Rinoa the drugs coursing through her body lulled her back to sleep. The ‘it’ was death. 

Four months prior to the Esthar trip I received an urgent call from the infirmary at Garden. Rinoa, Zell, and Selphie were at the bay with all the kids when Rinoa had a seizure and fell from the boardwalk to the water below. Selphie dove in after her and saved her life. Garden was off shore at the time, but near enough for Rinoa to be transported quickly to the infirmary. 

By the time Rinoa was in Dr Kadowaki’s care she was awake and confused. She hadn’t been hurt at all by the fall into the ocean and appeared to be totally unaffected by the seizure. The doctor reasoned that perhaps she’d been suffering from heat exhaustion since it was a scorching day, but I knew better. Even after that episode she refused to pursue testing so I was exceedingly thankful to Selphie for her persistence. If it hadn’t been for her quick reflexes Rinoa could have drowned that day. 

Esthar Hospital was a teaching institution, so when the doctor who performed Rinoa’s surgery returned to deliver results he brought a small crowd with him. Rinoa was sitting upright in the bed with me in the chair beside her as they filled the small room. 

He was a short man with just a small ring of grey hair circling the shiny bald spot at the top of his head. “Students,” he began, pointing a pen in Rinoa’s general direction. “Here we have a thirty-one year old female, average height, weight is within normal limits. The patient has been suffering moderate to severe pain, stiffness, and swelling in the hands and arms. The patient is an elderly primigravida who is fifteen months postpartum. Symptoms intensified during gestation, they have not appeared to change. Note that this hasn’t been well documented by the patient or her GP.” He paused so the students could scratch notes on their pads. “The patient suffered a grand mal seizure four months ago with no known cause. Typical autoimmune disorders have been ruled out. Exploratory surgery uncovered significant scar tissue in the tendons of the left hand and forearm as well as healing and new fractures in the radius and ulna. Physical injury has also been ruled out. Now, knowing this patient’s symptoms...Tell me, what is the cause?” 

The students appeared to frantically search their minds to impress their instructor. After a moment a young woman near the door raised her hand. “Guardian Syndrome, doctor.” 

“That is correct,” he replied. “Is this disease curable, doctor?” 

“No, doctor. There is no known long term treatment. Complications can result in death.” 

The head doctor nodded, clearly satisfied with his student’s stored knowledge. Without a word to either of us, the small crowd exited the room leaving the door open. 

We sat in silence for a few minutes, unable to speak. How could they do that? Deliver the worst news ever and just...leave? 

I felt Rinoa’s cool hand on the side of my face. “Oh, babe.” I hadn’t noticed the tears rolling down my face, splashing my collar. She leaned off the bed and wrapped her arms around my neck. She was crying too. 

“Squall, this doesn’t change anything. Do you hear me?” She squeezed me hard and pulled back, taking my face in her hand again. “There’s a baby boy just a few blocks from here who needs his mommy and daddy. That alone is enough. It’s enough,” she said firmly. Tears stuck to her lashes, her dark eyes piercing through them. 

I sniffed, wiped at my eyes with my sleeve and nodded. “I hear you.” 

Rinoa flipped her hair over a shoulder and wiped her own face. “After today I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” 

I stared at her in disbelief. Didn’t she hear everything the doctor said? 

“Squall? Can you do that for me? Please?” 

“If that’s what you want...”

She nodded resolutely. “Please. I just...I can’t do to you what my mother’s death did to my father. It completely destroyed him. I cannot do that to you too. I can’t do that to Stormy. I won’t. I promise. Now you promise me this ends, today.”

“Alright...I promise.”


End file.
